1 October 2024

It's been a pretty good day today; I woke up on the right side of the bed and utilized my time by working out. I'll be honest: I did start going back to more unhealthy eating habits again, but I'm getting back to the hang of things by having my protein drinks and getting my heart pumped with weighted pilates. In three months, I will look my absolute best, I promise you that! By Christmas, I'll be able to fit into a size 2; I speak that into existence!
While I wouldn't say that I'm fat, I am slightly overweight and the way others treated me as a skinnier woman is much different than how it is now. No one bullies me, but I feel invisible. It's a suckish feeling to go through and it's horrible that society allows it. The thinner you are, the better people treat you. Many don't want to admit to it but it's true. I've seen first-hand how conventionally attractive people get away with having nasty personalities and espousing bad habits, only for others not to care at all. People are wildly shallow; we all are to varying extents. We like looking at pretty things, it's in our nature. My insecurities surrounding my weight are why I'm doing all I can to lose the weight once and for all.
I spent time learning to code, and things are improving. I understand a lot more, and the site is looking better. It could be better but I'll get there the more I practice.
Went to a local clothing store with my mom later on and looked at clothes that I would've loved to buy but couldn't...because they were 2, 3 sizes too small. I miss the days when I was smaller. It seems as though there are more clothes for thinner people than there are for my body type. I remember trying on outfits at the mall and NONE of them looked good on me. They either accentuated my big belly or highlighted my curves in the worst way, in some way. At least I didn't burst into tears, proud of myself for that. And I can barely fit into a majority of my clothes in my closet...such a shame. But I will fit into them, just give me time and before you know it, everything in my closet will either fit right again or look baggy on me!